Manchester UK

I wanted to offer my heartfelt condolences to the families who lost their loved ones in the senseless act of terrorism in Manchester.

I pray for full recoveries for all of those who were injured.

The emotional toll that this horrific act will be life changing and will never be fair to everyone who was there.

I pray for the evil in this world to be eradicated by our Lord and Savior.

Be A Light

I've been told my whole life that I have a light about me that draws people to me, that I don't have a malicious bone in my body. I can only hope this is true. I'm human and I make mistakes, but I can honestly say that I have never knowingly set out to hurt someone.

I do know that I care about things far too much in which makes me very sensitive to everything around me. Almost like an empath. I think this helps me with my writing and my character development. I've been told that I paint a very good pictures with words in my stories.

Today while talking to my friend Sarah, she told me that she too has been told she has a light about her that draws people. I can see her light a mile away and I believe her light is a lot brighter than mine.

Sarah told me that sometimes being a light not only draws positive people, it also draws the negative people. People who are hurting deep inside are drawn, because they need light in their lives. It isn't always a positive thing, because unfortunately sometimes these people are out to drag us down trying to extinguish the light we have. We need to learn to draw a line and to stop and stand up for ourselves and not allow people who try to drain the light you shine to suck you dry.

So, here I am expressing myself and putting my thoughts out there, so I can face this problem I have in allowing those negative people to drag me down.

I used to smile all the time. I was known for my smile. I can't remember the last time someone told me I had a great smile, because I have stopped.

Wouldn't you love to be known for your smiles, your positive demeanor and being a light in this dark world? I'm going to try to let my light shine a little brighter and also draw that line not allowing the negative in. I need to find a balance and I know I will as long as I have the Lord with me. I hope you try to do the same thing. A collective light from many will help us be better people and keep us from drifting into the dark.

Have a great day.

The Journey

Every person on this earth, past, present and future has and will live a journey, their journey.

From the beginning we each have a story to tell. We live it and breath it daily from the moment we are born, till the very moment we die. I don't want to get morbid, or anything, so I want to stay in the middle. The beginning is where it starts and the ending is where it ends. It is the journey in between that counts.

We can't choose our family, how we look, or how we came to be, but we can choose our friends and how we present ourselves Most importantly We have the freedom to make our choices in life.

I must admit that there are times I feel trapped in my life. I think this is normal. I must be clear though, I don't feel trapped in all aspects of my life. I have experienced the greatest joys in life because of the choices I've made. There are choices though that I have made, as I'm sure other's do, because it is for the betterment for you, your family and people you care about that may put you in the position to feel that life isn't as good as it could be. These are the experiences I try to learn from and grow from. We find out so, much about ourselves when we are faced with disappointment, regret, sadness and despair. The diversities in life make us stronger if we let it as long as we don't allow to drag us down.

If you are lucky enough to live and make a living doing what you love, that fulfills you. You should grasp it enjoy it as long as you can, because at some point it can end. I guess what I'm trying to say, is, never take the joys in life for granted, nor the people who love you and those that you love for granted either.

Have the courage to live your life to the fullest it can be, by respecting yourself and treating yourself the best way you can. Take time for yourself and for your family and the people you love. Don't allow others to put you down, or mistreat you. It is important to stand up for yourself personally and professionally.

Take a deep breath and enjoy the moments. Those moments are your life, they are your memories in which one day you'll look back on and realize that the journey you took brought you to where you are.

Be blessed and enjoy today.

When asked, "How are you?"

We all know those people who turn the conversation around to be about them. I'm no psychologist, but isn't that some kind of cry for attention? I know I should be patient with people, but sometimes it just gets too annoying to put up with. We all like to talk about ourselves and share things that happen in our lives with people we work with, family and people we connect with. It should never lead to some sort of competition. Do other's feel this way too?

Do people really know how to listen and respond appropriately, show compassion and show a little bit of empathy? I think the art of listening is becoming lost. The "me" generation stems to all generations. It seems that way anyway. Keep in mind this is just my opinion.

One day at work someone asked me why I don't talk a lot. I didn't have to think about the answer, because I know why I don't talk a lot. I didn't know this person very well, because they were fairly new, but I decided to be honest.

"I have learned not to talk to much, because when someone asks how I am they really don't care. I start to tell them and instead of showing interest, I'm quickly shut down by interruptions and am told about how they are and don't ever get to finish my thoughts. Most of the time I've resigned myself to just saying the usual "fine" word, because some people just don't care.

I surprised my co-worker by saying this, and I could tell that she looked a little guilty. I had to reassure her that she in no way had done this, but I was just giving an honest answer. I did find that when she asked about my personal life, she did in fact listen and we had quite a conversation, I was interested in her life as well. It was a nice give and take conversation.

I was talking about my daughter one day, when someone asked about her. I had found out that she was going to graduate college. Someone else piped up without letting me finish the sentence I was in and made it a competition about herself and how smart her own sister was. Without thinking, I just looked at her and asked her when the conversation became about her? Her timing was way off and it was insulting how she made the conversation about her in one fell swoop. I didn't mean to embarrass her, but when everyone else laughed, because they didn't expect me to say what I did, she walked away.

One of my favorites is, and I'm being sarcastic ... is when I'm asked, or it can be asked of someone else, is "How are you doing?", "Oh, I'm tired and didn't sleep very well.", the response is, "Oh, you want me to feel sorry for you? I never sleep at night. Welcome to my world!"

Really? You have to gull to actually say that? Since when does this person own the top trophy about not being able to sleep at night? We all have problems at times and it should never be a lead in to insult someone or, to minimize what other's are feeling. It feels as if they are trying to make the person who dares to say they didn't sleep well feel stupid as well. We all have a right not to feel well if we don't sleep well at night. GOOD GRIEF!!

In summing up this little rant, people need to think before they speak. It goes a long way in relationships in your life that encompass personal relationships with your kids, spouse, friends, people you work with and in all interactions with people you meet on a day to day basis. Use common sense and you'll get a lot further in how other's respond to you and ultimately you just might gain a little respect.

Today's Blessings

Today was a good day.

What can I say, I'm blessed to have a loving husband and family, all of whom live life to the fullest and have a wonderful sense of humor. We are there to hug each other, wipe up each other's tears, rib each other mercilessly and laugh until our bellies ache.

This morning I was awakened by my loving cat, Tigger meowing something fierce, because he wanted attention and he wanted to be fed. I got up made coffee, prepared Tigger's food, go my vitamins, protein shake and water and took them all upstairs so I could sit in bed and enjoy the morning surfing the net.

My hubby woke up a little later and got up to eat and start his morning routine. I had to get up to go to massage therapy because of the car accident I was in. I'm still under doctor's orders. I'm feeling better, but I hope I don't have problems for the rest of my life with my back and neck.

Sara, my massage therapist met me at the door of the office and told me she was really mad at me, that she was angry and disappointed that I didn't have anymore books published for her to read. You see, I had given her a copy of my book, "My Charming Protector" and she took on vacation with her to Amsterdam. She said once she started reading it, she couldn't put it down and loved the way I painted a picture with words. She love the story line and wanted more.

My ego took flight. I really needed to hear her praise, more than I thought I would. I appreciate how unexpected it was and I'm truly happy she love my book.

I got home, took a shower and got ready to go to my mother's house. I haven't seen her in a few weeks because of going to Utah and being sick. I don't like being around her when I'm sick. I'm afraid she'll get what I have and cause complications with her already complicated medical issues.

My hubby had to go to work. I kissed him bye and wished him a good day. He hasn't been feeling well either, but the good thing is, he is on the upside now.

I bought flowers for my mom and my sister-in-law for a late Mother's Day gift. Mom wasn't feeling well and was still asleep, so I visited my step dad until she got up.

While visiting, I got a text from my daughter who told us that she was being hired as a case worker for the state if Utah. That she'll start at the end of the month. I'm so proud of my daughter. She had just graduated from college and is now starting to work in the field she went to school for. I'm so pleased that she basically got right in after school. Now she has the chance to prove herself.

While at my mom's, we had pizza and salad for an early dinner. My nephew Stryker came home from school and visited with us and resisted going to play with his video games. He remembered that his mom told him if he got good marks for his reading that he'd get to play them again. We all encouraged him to read and he went and got a new book his mom had gotten him, by James Patterson. It is called Middle School. Stryker read to all of us and got through 87 pages before he got tired. He thoroughly enjoyed reading to all of us and we enjoyed the story.

In all it was a very relaxing afternoon and a nice one. Getting to visit with my brother Alex after his dialysis was awesome. He looks good and seems to being doing okay. I'm thankful that I still have my mother to visit and she still has time on this earth to be with her family. I wanted to give a shout out to my sister-in-law for taking such good care of my mother and brother. Allie is an awesome mother as well.

My brother Chuck had surgery today and he is doing well. He is recovering at home with his loving wife.

I left mom's house and was lucky that the traffic was not terrible going home. On my street as I rounded the corner there were 4 deer on the side of the road grazing in the field. They live in the woods by our house.

Once inside my house my cat Tigger heard me and began meowing. It is time for me to give my cat the attention he deserves and to feed him.

I had many blessing today and I'm thankful for all of them. I don't take the time to look at all the blessing everyday, but they are there.

God bless everyone.

Curve Balls

Life has a way of throwing you curve balls and you find yourself dodging them, but sometimes no matter how much you try to dodge them you get smacked hard.

This last year has been that way. Trying to be strong and do what is right can be a job in itself and is at times very difficult.

My mother has had a lot of medical issues and we've been dealing with that for quite sometime. My brother, Alex's health has been failing as well and he went into the hospital, because his kidney's have failed. He now has to have dialysis to keep him alive. We keep hoping and praying that either his kidneys start working again, or he can qualify to have a kidney transplant. There is a process for this.

About the time my brother was going through this, I had a major surgery done and was out of work for about six weeks. I don't really want to get into what I had done at this time. Then on December 5th I was in a car accident. I was rear ended at a stop sign. I've been going to physical therapy and massage therapy since. Hopefully I won't have problems the rest of my life. I'm truly following what my doctor has recommended.

After Christmas my mother had a heart attack. We think she had a few of them, before anyone really knew what was going on. Her aide at home was the one who called the paramedics. Mom had to wait in the emergency room like everyone else instead of them admitting her right away. She is lucky to be alive. Mom had to stay in the hospital for a couple of weeks while they took test after test on mom. She made it clear she wanted to live and had a lot to live for. Mom had heart surgery January 13th of this year and only had a thirty-five percent chance of survival. Mom had a triple by-pass and lived.

Mom is a courageous woman who fights every step of the way. Mom has taught me that giving up is never an option. I will take this to my grave.

I didn't make it known, but I was quite upset that I had to work on Mother's Day. The last few years I had Mother's Day off, because of my mother's health and her being in the hospital and last year when I needed it off I was told quite bluntly that I would not get it off the next year. I almost lost my mom and I may not get another Mother's Day, or might get a few more. I don't get other holiday's off that I want without making a huge deal and I couldn't even have the day off that means the most to me. I only have one mom and I hate missing the time with her that means a lot to her.

My brother, Charles has been in the hospital as well with kidney issues and we hope and pray that his is not as serious as my younger brother's.

The year isn't even over yet and I feel as if a life time of events have happen within the last nine months.

The love of my family has kept us strong. We depend on each other for strength, courage and love and of course laughter.

I keep praying. I pray for my whole family and of course my friends and a whole host of other people too.

May God Bless You.

Working

Working in Washington State has not been everything I thought it would be. I've learned a lot about myself working in retail. I can honestly say that retail and me is not a good fit. I dislike having to try to reach unreachable sales goals and the shark atmosphere that accompanies the whole job with everyone you work with. The constant question of why I couldn't get someone to purchase, or to up-sale is tiresome. There is a constant nit pick about what you could have done better. Most of the time it is difficult to overcome the feeling of lacking and not being able to do anything right since everything you do is like working in a fishbowl and everything you do is scrutinized.

The other part of the job that really gets to me are the blackout periods of time that we can not take off. Any holiday is required to work. This is especially difficult for me because my husband and I are very family oriented. Every time I miss family functions because of the work schedule a little of me dies inside. I feel the light I once had is dimming and one day it will go out. Not only am I missing out on family time, my family is missing me. You can't get this time back and the older I get the more important family time is.

I've looked for a new job for quite sometime. In fact I'm always looking. I've put out hundreds of applications in the last four and a half years and I have not been able to find a good job that would give me what I'm looking for. Most of the jobs around here are retail. I really hate job hopping and won't quit one retail job just to get another one. I hope to get an office job one day, or even something in a company working second shift so I can work the same hours my husband has so we can spend more time together. I can't quit because I have responsibilities at home that requires me to work so I can pay bills and contribute to our home and livelihood.

The tricky part is when applying for jobs, is that most all of the better jobs are online only applications. You have to beat the application software with key words for an actual person to see your resume. Then you are competing with hundreds of people may have better qualifications than you. The competition is fierce. Oh, lordy I hope I can find the right job one day that will give me a chance.

What I wish and pray for the most is that one day my writing will pay enough for me not to have to work outside of the home.

Have a great day everyone.

Stand Up For Yourself

I know that none of us are perfect and everyone makes decisions at times that they shouldn't. What we fail to realize at the time is that there are consequences, or repercussions of those decisions. Our choices can make us, or break us.

When we make questionable decisions we forget how others see us. We all at some point proclaim that we don't care how others view us, but we are human after all and we do care on some level no matter what you try to say.

I know that I've disappointed people, but I have been disappointed as well and I for one have a difficult time forgetting. I've learned through time when something bothers me I should confront the issue as soon as possible so life can go on.

I've made the mistake of not confronting the issues and I'm still bothered by not standing up for myself. It wouldn't be so bad, but little things keep happening that bring up the issues which in turn bring back the bitter feelings that I have harbored.

Most of the time it is too late to bring up something that has happened, but I have also learned that timing is everything. In some cases I have experienced that something happens that gives me the perfect opportunity to say what has bothered me in a way that is not threatening, or melodramatic to the person who I feel needs to hear me. I love it when that happens.

There are two things I will say however, because I just need to get them off of my chest even thought it is too late to do anything about ...

It pisses me off that I never got paid for jury duty. I was denied because of technicalities, though I did find out later I could have fought it.
Also, when I had a death in the family, I was not paid eight hours of bereavement per day that I was out. I was only given the scheduled hours I would have worked which was less. Eight hours of bereavement is a benefit for full time employees, in which I was a full time employee. I asked about this from benefits much later and learned that I should have gotten eight hours per day I was out. I felt hurt at the time. I was already down because of the loss of a loved one and when that happens I felt as if I have been kicked in the gut as well. I never brought it up to my supervisor, because I had already lost faith in this person standing up for me. They spend too much time saying what can't be done rather than standing up for me and saying what I could do.


I'm still waiting for a few opportunities in other cases where the timing will be perfect for me to say what has been on my mind for so long.

In my perspective because of my experiences if you have something to say to someone, don't wait until it is too late. Otherwise, like me you'll have to chalk it up to a learning experience and move on. After all we are not perfect and we must find a way to move forward.

Be nice to yourself and love who you are. Have a Blessed day.

My Daughter Is Married

On May 11, 2017 my beautiful daughter got married to Shayne Hudson. My husband and I gained a son-in-law. Shayne is a hard working young man who like my daughter is strong in his faith in God. As Shayne and Nicole start their life together in the journey of life my husband Russ and I wish them well and we pray that God bless them in every step they take.

We love you!

It has been quite awhile since I've written in my blog. It has been a long time since I have written at all. Real life has inserted itself the last four and a half years and I haven't had it in me to do much of anything except work and spend time with family.

I guess you can say I've sat back and have gained a new insight, or perspective on life. I've learned more about myself and I know I will keep learning. Even though I am considered "older", I think it is important to keep evolving while life experiences teaches me the kind of person I want to be. I just want to impart with whoever reads this is that learning is a part of life and you should never stop.

I will be writing blogs sharing parts of my life and my perspectives, so stay tuned.

Have a good day and may God Bless You.