The Four Chairs

I spent the day with my mother yesterday, she went from not feeling well because of recovering from the walking pneumonia she had, to superwoman with a mission. I talked her into going to lunch just to get out of the house. I must admit, I really didn't expect her to go the way she looked. She really didn't look as if she felt that well, but then she got dressed and off we went.

We mulled over the menu for a time deciding on a prime rib dip with a large salad for mom and chicken fried steak for me with a large salad as well. We talked and ate and mom began getting more animated when she started talking about an ad she saw on television about some chairs she had been wanting to get. I looked up the store she was talking about and it was about an hour and a half away, with traffic. It was passed my house which is an hour north of her house. (She didn't realize how far it was.)

Mom looked at me and innocently asked if I'd take her to go look at the chairs. In my mind I was thinking about traffic and how long it would take to drive down there and bring mom home, but I smiled as if it was nothing and told her that if we were going to go, we had better get going. She smiled and off we went.

We talked and talked as I drove and drove and mom suddenly got quiet as I pointed out that we were going to pass my house and on the way back we'd stop by so she could see it. (Mom had never been to our new house yet.) It finally dawned on mom how far we had gone and she asked me in a hesitant voice. "Well, how far is the store?" I told her with traffic about another half hour. She looked at me and told me if she had known how far it was she would never have asked me. I just told her that I loved her and for her to stop feeling guilty that she was worth the time. I told her that if I couldn't have taken her, I would have said so from the very beginning.

Mom brightened up and we joked as I drove in the stop and go traffic and I finally found the exit and turned off. I found the store and parked and her eyes lit up as we got out of the car. I helped her up the large flight of stairs to the show room and we went inside. We stopped and looked around and the look on her face was priceless. I know she couldn't believe we were actually there. I could almost see beams of light shining on her with a choir of voices singing "awwwwwwww"

The sales person was a young man who was patient and he took his time listening to my mother and what she wanted and told him about the ad she saw on television. He told her that the special she was talking about had been sold out and mom became very disappointed, but then she asked to see if they had anything comparable. They had a chair that mom fell in love with the instant she saw it and sat in it. The sales person showed us another chair on the other side of the store, but mom wanted the first one. Mom ended up ordering four of them to be delivered to her house in a couple of days.

Now, I've told you only part of the story. Keep in mind my mother is going blind, but she can see better some days depending on the lighting. She can see shapes and get the gist of her surroundings with taking her time and looking around and taking the time to look closely at them. She sees better up close, she can see more detail. Mom also has diabetes which has attacked her nervous system. She has a difficult time walking. The simple act of going up and down stairs is scary for her. Being out in public is scary for her, because she is very self conscious of herself and she is desperately afraid of falling. Trying to get mom to go places is difficult to say the least when she isn't in the mood, or when she isn't feeling well. Mom can be pretty stubborn.

Mom doesn't like to be a burden, or she doesn't want to put anyone out in any way so she doesn't often ask. She certainly would have have changed her mind if I had explained how far the store was that she wanted to go to and would have dug her heals in about going.

This outing meant more to mom than I know I'll ever know, though I must admit, it meant more to me, than she'll ever know. Mom is going to have a family reunion at Thanksgiving this year with all of her children and grandchildren at her house and she wanted to have new chairs for her front room. Mom is not the conventional type. She keeps her stuff until it is falling apart and then it is difficult to part with. Getting the new chairs for her front room was a milestone for her.

On the way back we went to my house and we spent time there. It was the first time she had seen my home and she went up the stairs and looked at everything. Mom loves it and told me how proud she is of me and my husband for being able to work hard to get the house.

When we finally got back to her house, her husband was waiting for us. He was worried, because it isn't like us to be gone for so long. When mom explained where we had went and what she had purchased she became animated and excited and was almost bouncing off of the walls about how nice the new furniture was going to look. The mood was contagious and dad also became excited and talked about updating other things. I sat back and looked at both of them and thought about the difficult times they had come through in their life. I saw the look he gave her as she chattered on and on about how nice her front room was going to look. I knew that there was something there I thought had been lost. (That is a whole other story)

I'm happy to say that the old chairs in the front room are going to the dump along with other things that she has been hanging onto. If some of the other updates that they were talking about happens I'll write about it.

The moral of this story is taking the time to be with those you love. It is easy to get caught up in life, work, obligations, time constraints etc.
It would have been easy for me to tell mom 'no' about going to the furniture store she had wanted to go to because of how far it was, but I didn't.

Mom had been talking about getting new chairs for years and she finally did it. I saw a fire lit under my mother that I hadn't seen in years. I can't even tell you how much it meant to me to see this, to be apart of it. I'm very thankful I followed my gut instinct and went with the spur of the moment of her simple request.

Before I left to go home, I hugged mom and looked at her and said, "I'll bet when I first got here, that you never expected our day to end the way it did."

"No, not even close," she said, "I have to tell you that I decided to go to lunch even though I didn't want to, was because, one day I'm going to be blind and I won't be able to see you, or anything. I got see my roses in bloom and the beautiful flowers in the yard as we left. I got to see your house. I need to take advantage of the time I have, because one day it will be very different for me." Mom hugged me and kissed my cheek. "You helped me feel alive and independent today. Thank you for driving down to see me. Thank you for taking me to the furniture store and then back to see your house and then back home again. You have to drive back home now and it is going to be late!"

"That doesn't matter, mom. I'm happy I could be here today with you."

I wish I could spend more time with mom. I want more moments like this before she is called home to God.

Thank you mom, I love you!

Vickie Treadway