A Walmart Produce Cart Rammed Me As I was Shopping

 When I go shopping, I usually like to go early to beat the crowds. Well, I've been very sick with the flu and I have not been up to going anywhere. My husband started feeling sick with the flu as well and we still had not gone shopping for the week. Well, I decided to go, it was mid morning. I left the house around 10am Saturday morning. 

As predicted it was busier than I like, but I needed to get the shopping done. The produce department was a zoo, it was busy with regular shoppers, there were lots of pallets around from Walmart associates stocking shelves and there were many personal shoppers racing around with their carts. I was taking my time trying to navigate through this trying to get to the lettuce and other vegetables. It is really frustrating, because the isles with most of the fruits and other vegetables, are catty corner, rather than straight. It is really not conducive to large crowds of people and carts. Not to mention there is no room for more than one cart at a time in any isle. 

I finally got to the vegetables I wanted and had my cart in front of me as I was trying to find what I wanted. 

Suddenly, a produce cart rammed into my cart, which then hit me nearly knocking me down. I was actually teetering on one foot and my knees were buckling. The cart had hit my right arm and elbow, and I was knocked backwards. I don't know what saved me from going down onto the floor. I was surprised and in a panic afraid that I would fall. 

I looked up to see this huge produce cart with an older Walmart Associate pushing it, he peered out from the side of the cart, he couldn't even see over it, from what I seen. I told him, you almost knocked me down. and he just looked at me trying to get passed me. He did say, "I'm sorry," but it wasn't very sincere. 

Tears sprung to my eyes and I became angry. I stood there for a moment trying to gather my thoughts. I don't like to cry in public, by here I was, in the produce department trying to avoid peoples stares, which also made me mad, because there were a lot of witnesses who must have seen what happened and not one person stopped to see if I was okay. I know if I had seen something like that and I was near, I would have supported the person who had been hit like I have. I had a few choice words for the associate who rammed into me. He looked at me without remorse and continued on.

I looked around and and there were three must have been four personal shoppers among the heavily populated isles from shoppers who were trying to get their shopping done too. Not one manager was around. I asked a few personal shoppers if they had seen a manager around and no one could answer me. I finally made my way to the produce refrigerated area where they come out with the huge pallets of food. Someone was coming out and I stopped her. The pallet she had was huge. I didn't care. I asked her for a manager, I was still in tears. She said she'd have to find someone with a phone to call the manager. I said okay. She looked at me with compassion, she did seem to care. She disappeared for a few minutes then came back and said that someone was coming, but it would be a few minutes. 

I waited and watched, keeping an eye on the produce associate who had rammed into me. He'd look at me from time to time. 

Someone came flying by me into the back room, then immediately came out and looked at me. I asked him if he was the manager, he said he was Coach Michael. The equivalent of a manager, I guess. 

I explained to him what happened and pointed out the associate who had rammed into me. He profusely said he was sorry and that he'd pull the associate aside and talk to him about what happened. It didn't seem enough. Looking at the the produce department it was still a zoo, with carts and them zooming around getting in the way of shoppers and I was very frustrated. I told him that I'm at the age, that if I'm knocked down, or fall, I don't bounce, I break and I'm afraid. Fresh tears came unwittingly. He looked at me and laughed at my comment. He said he'd use that comment in his next meeting, where he'd bring this up to all of his associates and would tell the personal coaches they needed to talk to their people. He promised that he'd have the produce department cleaned up and that he'd talk to his associate. Though he didn't say this, it was obvious that Coach Michael of course could not promise that getting rammed with a cart would not happen again.

I told Coach Michael, that this was not acceptable at all, he said he knew this and agreed. He said something about customer service and the personal shoppers where trying to shop for others. 

I told him, I have worked in customer service my whole life and the customers, shoppers like myself need to be first, we are the customers in the store first and foremost. What happened to taking care of the regular customers in the store first? The carts that zoom around the store getting in the way of regular shoppers is unacceptable. He told me that yes, I was right, that regular customers should be coming first.

 A lady who was nearby heard out conversation and contributed her own story. She agreed, that she had a recent experience of shopping for a book and was reading a forward and a personal shopper with a cart had to stop, because there was not enough room to get around her. The personal shopper was snotty to her and told her to get the book and get out of his way, because he was shopping for someone and was on a time limit. The lady pointed out, that his time limit didn't have anything to do with her. The lady told Coach Micheal that she had many stories like the one she told him that something needed to be done. 

I expressed my opinion that the carts like that had no place in stores like this, because there just wasn't enough room. 

Coach Michael had nothing more to say, he made his excuse to go and that was it. It would have been nice if he had offered a discount of some-kind for being rammed by his employee.  I hope he checks the cameras to actually see what happened. I know that Walmart has many cameras for shop lifters, why not for checking for ramming into innocent customers who just want to get the weekly shopping done. 

In my opinion, shopping at Walmart has become dangerous. I see people having to dodge the personal shoppers carts and other store carts with associates who are trying to stock product on a 24 hour basis.  They zoom around getting angry at those who dare get in their way. They zoom around not caring about anyone else, because they happen to be on some time limit.

 Walmart in my opinion has lost their way with customer service for the regular shopper who just wants to go in and do their own shopping. In today's world it really adds insult to injury that we are paying for over priced groceries and we have worry about our personal safety at the same time.

Praying for Uvalde TX

 As my husband and I watched the horror unfold on the television about the school shooting in Uvalde TX on May 24, 2022, there were no words as shock and disbelief invaded us. Watching the children being evacuated and parents and family members rushing to the school to find out if their loved ones survived, is beyond heart wrenching. 

My husband and I looked at each other heartbroken, and in that moment we both felt the helplessness, hurt and confusion that any parent, or human being would feel as we watched what was happening and could do nothing about. Thinking of what those parents and family members must be going through is unimaginable. 

Both Russ and I are praying for every child and teacher murdered in cold blood by the evil man who did this. We pray for the children and adults who witnessed first hand the nightmare of friends being taken away from them. We pray for what they will live with the rest of their lives. We pray for the family members who will never see these precious lives again. They will only have their memories..., their precious memories. 

We pray for all of the first responders who rushed to the school with the mission to try to protect the innocent lives in danger. We pray for those people who were faced with the job of processing such a horrific scene and for the investigators who will try to get to the bottom of why this senseless massacre happened.  

Dear Lord we pray for the courage and strength for everyone. We pray for everyone to unite to find the answers needed.

Adopting Fur Babies

Since moving to Kingman Arizona we have wanted to adopt a cat or two. We would like to get a dog, but we just can't take care of one at this time. Dogs take more care and definitely more constancy. We travel a lot still and the places we go don't allow dogs. We will probably get a dog later on when things settle down. 

My husband is pretty handy when it comes to repairs, building things and an all around fix it person. We looked at outside catteries to have for our cats we would like to get. We have a dog door that goes through the wall by the slider and there is plenty of room for a large cattery outside so they could go in and out when ever they wanted. 

We would only consider indoor cats, because we don't want anything to happen to the cats if they get out. 

To make a long story short, my hubby built a nice three story cattery and we found out cat bowls etc. We went to the Mohave County Animal Shelter who are filled to the brim with kittens and adult cats, puppies and adult dogs. Most all of the animals had been given up by their owners for a lot of reasons. We were told that most were given up because people were starting to go back to work (one of the effects of COVID) and could not keep their animals, or have moved and did not take their animals with them. This is so sad and heart breaking for the animals who are now homeless and are scared. Loosing their family has a traumatic impact on them. 

We were introduced to a handful of cats who were ready for adoption. Most of them had to be evaluated and fixed and needed shots.

There were two cats that came to the shelter together, but had been separated because they didn't have a cage large enough for two cats.  We were introduced to Binx a male cat who is almost three years old and who is as black as coal and Nala, who has the coloring of a bangle, black white gray with strips and spots. She is six years old. Their family moved and did not take them with them and gave them up to the shelter. They had been there almost a month. 

We had wanted adult cats as they are harder to adopt out. We fell in love with Binx and Nala and adopted them. 

It has been six days since adopting them and they are getting acclimated to our house and the new cattery.  They are both very loving and have such different personalities. I will write more about their adventures in future posts. 

Please if you are reading this, you can donate to your local animal shelter, they are always in the need of pet supplies and if you can, please adopt an animal who needs a home. 

If you want to donate to the Mohave County Animal Shelter, please click on the link and you'll find the details on their website. 

 

Feeling A Little Down

 I'm feeling a little out of it. Here is my thought for the day.

Unexpected things happen all the time, impacting how we live and how we perceive the world around us. The challenges we face make us who we are. You might say, all of us have scars from life that have molded and shaped us as individuals. 

Vickie Treadway

Be Nice to People Who Are Willing to Work

In a world where people are actually working and trying to help you, please, please..., BE NICE TO THEM. Don't go off on them because you are frustrated.

I work with a wonderful woman whose name is Kathy. She bends over backwards for people and is exceptional at her job. Her experience, longevity and patience cannot be replaced even though she could be replaced by a newbie. She does not have to work as she is in her retirement age.

When you go off on a person like this wonderful woman, it pronounces the fact that she doesn't have to work and wants to go into full retirement taking all of that experience and willingness to assist you with her. I really can't blame her if she decides to leave, but if she decides to fully retire, this is one less person who will be there to help you.

Think about your actions and how you treat people before you say and do something to those brave enough to work on the front lines willing to assist you.

What The Pandemic of 2020 Has Taught Me.

All of us has been taught valuable lessons from the Pandemic of 2020 and the stories will be told for generations to come. 

Life is short, as I get older I find myself looking back on my life and realize on a deeper level that family is everything. I missed a lot as I put work first trying to make money to pay bills. Don't get me wrong, paying bills and daily living is important, we must pay our own way and be a productive part of society. 

The sad part for me is that my husband and I have worked very hard our entire life and when the pandemic happened, we had the rug pulled out from under us and everything financially we have worked for, especially for retirement has been taken from us. 

I'm tired and sometimes don't know if I have it in me to continue working so hard. Starting over is difficult, when your older and starting over, it is even more difficult. Good jobs are hard to come by and jobs with health benefits are even harder to come by. Now working difficult hours are expected and now we have to do it without health benefits.

Working as hard as we have we missed being with family, for important occasions and just being with them.  I missed the last Thanksgiving in 2018 when my mother was alive. I'll never get that back. My job at Blue Nile, told me I had to work. I was afraid of loosing my job, so I cried through the whole shift and the supervisor on shift told me without any feeling, I should just leave, because this was obviously a job that didn't fit my lifestyle. Explain to me how being with family during the holidays is a life style. Even the customer's who called in asked why we were even there, most thought they'd get to leave a message for a callback. I politely would say, because as long as people called in on holidays, the company would remain open making us work. 

Most people don't realize when they are home during the holidays, that corporations stay open, especially retail, and people have to work, because companies won't let their employees off because of the almighty dollar. Company's only look at their bottom line and forget about the people who they expect to work their awful hours.  Most people who have to work those very difficult hours/ days/ nights, have husbands, wives, daughter, sons, mother's and father's and other family members. Why would companies expect their employees to miss important holidays and have to celebrate at a later date, if they even can that is not the actual holiday.

Being home during the pandemic and spending time with other family members has been an unexpected blessing, even though I had to quite my job because my husband was laid off from his job. It would have been difficult financially, but I should have quite the job at Blue Nile instead of trying to hang on because of a good paycheck. Companies like that are not flexible about taking time off.

I should have made the choice to leave it behind. I will never get that time back with my mother and my other family members. 

The pandemic has forced us to slow down, to isolate and to spend time with family when we could. We got to know our family again, for us this has been a blessing. A blessing I don't want to let go. 

I find myself at a retail job again and I truly resent this. I have to force myself to leave my home to make money so our bills can be paid. I swore I'd never let a job take me away from my family like it used to be. 

I have changed and I don't know how much I can take if I can't take off when my family is here visiting, or we need to go be with family help them. 

I didn't realize how tired I really am. Being forced to stay home has really magnified it for me and now that I have to work again, I don't want to go back to the way it was. 

I pray to God constantly, for a miracle. 

Change Is Difficult AMIDST OF COVID-19

 I really miss writing stories. I hope that one day soon I can actually start writing again. As any writer knows, the journey of writing includes the journey of life. I laugh in irony and am trying to catch my breath. The curve balls just never stop coming.

These last few years, life has taken my husband and I on an unforgettable heart wrenching journey we never expected and it has still left us reeling like we are in some alternate universe and twilight zone.

Even though it has almost been three years, I'm still grieving the loss of my mother. Watching her decline over the last few years of her life and finally standing by her bedside, holding her hand and watching her take her last breath on Thursday May 10th, 2018 at 4:08 pm has left me broken. I'm still trying to move on from the grief, but it comes back in waves at the most unexpected times. 

My husband Russ was laid off from his job at Boeing in June of 2019 as a direct result of COVID-19. We couldn't stay in Washington State to live and pay our bills. We had to make some life changing decisions when we realized Russ would be laid off. 

We needed to find a place to live with a lower cost of living and we decided to move to Kingman Arizona. We put our house up for sale and it sold in one weekend. I quite my job and we went to Arizona to find a house. We found a small home with a lot of potential, went back to Washington to pack up. My sister and her husband came up from California to help us get packed up and move. We drove to Arizona in a small caravan with all of our belongings.

We had to stay in a hotel for almost a week waiting for our house to close in July. Luckily, even though the house is 15 years old, it was clean enough to be move in ready. It was miserable because we were trying to move into our home in the midst of a heat wave. We were doing what we needed to do to survive. My sister Kathy and her husband Wade were such a great help and I will never forget the time they gave and their generosity as we got settled that first week. 

After Kathy and Wade went back home to California, Russ and I worked hard, cleaning and working on our little corner of heaven, our forever home. We couldn't really meet people, because of COVID-19. We stayed to ourselves and just familiarized ourselves with our new surroundings when we needed to go out to get the things we needed. Even our neighbors stayed away, introduced ourselves from a distance. We live around some very nice people, most are retired, other's work and are gone most of the time. I really love our little community. 

I really don't mind the loneliness at this time. We are trying to deal with all the change that has happened. I miss my mother and talking to her, I miss my brother in Washington state and I am afraid of what the future holds. We have a chance at a new beginning and wonderful things. I just hope things work out as we want them too.

I'll talk about jobs and looking for work on my next post...

A Christmas Wish for Inspiration

I wish for inspiration for writing what I love. Now that we are in our forever home in Arizona, I wish to find a day job that will allow me to have weekends and holidays off with full benefits, so I can have time with family, friends and writing what I love.

It has been awhile since I've written anything, it has been quite a while since I've had any inspiration to write anything, so I thought I'd write here to get what I feel out into the universe. 

Christmas has always been my favorite time of year, well actually all the holidays are. They all hold something special for me and they all include my love for my family and friends and the memories I have. I believe it is very important to spend time with family and friends, because life is short and we have to let our loved ones know how we feel. When we look back on our lives, we only remember the memories and the imprints we leave on each other and I don't want to live my life without these memories anymore.

I wasn't going to decorate for Christmas, because we have too much going on with fixing up the house we moved into. Ours house is a mess with everything we are doing. I was at my sister Kathy's home with her husband Wade in California for Thanksgiving to be with family. Yes, we had small gatherings and we practiced social distancing and we were all responsible in our interactions. 

After Thanksgiving, my sister Kathy got her Christmas decorations out and she set up her tree. I told her I wasn't going to decorate for Christmas at my house. We spent the morning decorating her home  and like a great sister, she was not so subtle in telling me that I should decorate at least a little, that it didn't matter we were still working on our home and it was a mess. We all need a little Christmas. My husband never helps me decorate and the last few years it seemed it didn't matter one way or another if I did. He seemed to support my decision not to decorate. 

Once we got home to our house in Arizona, I did get out our fake five foot tree and put it up. Russ came in from outside and I was looking at our tree with a little dismay. we have ten foot ceilings and this little tree looked so out of place. With money short in our lives I was going to make it work for us. 

We had to do some running around to get done and Russ told me we should look at trees. I didn't want to get a real one because we wouldn't be home for Christmas and it would just die anyway. There was a huge nine foot pre-lit Christmas tree we were both drawn too. I was surprised my husband showed this much interest. I realized he wanted our home to be decorated. Well, to my surprise we brought the tree home and it is now up with all of the little ornaments I had in storage for 9 years. (that is another story) I decorated a little around the house, just enough to give us a little Christmas joy in our forever home. 

Now what I need is a little inspiration to come up with a story idea.

I pray for a good job after the new year and for everything to start falling into place. 

I pray for everyone. We can all use a little Christmas magic after the year we have had.

 

2020 The Worst Year In Memory

It is already November 1st of 2020. What a year. Everyone has a story to tell about this terrible year as the hits just kept on coming for most of us and it isn't even done yet. I try to be optimistic about the coming year of 2021, but too much has happened and nothing is ever going to be the same. 

Russ was layed off from his job at Boeing in June because of COVID19. Unfortunately, my paycheck couldn't pay the bills we had and we ended up having to sell our home in Washington State and move to Arizona where it is definitely a lower cost of living. Even though I had a job I ended up losing it because of COVID19 as well by having to quit. 

Now, we are both unemployed and trying to live on his unemployment. I'm trying to get unemployment because of the circumstances of COVID19, but so far I've been denied and I'm trying to appeal the decision. It doesn't seem right there is help for people who lose their job because of COVID19, as far as unemployment and the pandemic help from the federal government, but I can't get any help because I wasn't layed off even though I had to quit because of COVID19. 

Jobs with benefits are very difficult to come by and that is what we need, especially with COVID19 still threatening our health. I pray we don't get sick, because what little we have would be gone if we did get sick. We use our masks and social distance as required just to be safe. Washing hands and disinfecting is not really new to us since we've always had good hygiene. 

All around us people are affected by COVID19. Family and friends are getting sick and dying, businesses are cutting back hours and closing their doors and we are all told to stay home and only go out when necessary to keep from giving it to each other until a vaccine can be made to kill off the disease.

It is scary to be out because of how angry people are, the riots, the lawlessness, the racism, the hate and the civil unrest on top of there being an election in a couple of days. It is a very scary time to live with all of the uncertainly. 

I had to go shopping for a few things today and I couldn't believe the anger and rudeness in people as I went through the store to get what I needed. Being nice and smiling at people just didn't cut it for most of the people I came across today. I was cussed out for no apparent reason, scowled because someone was in a hurry and I wasn't fast enough at getting out of their way. I looked around at people not seeing any smiles. I realized I wasn't the only one people were mean to. I saw what I was feeling in other peoples faces as they did their shopping too. Geesh, I tell you I couldn't wait to get home just to be away from the meanness people were displaying today. 

Well, with all the negative things happening in the world and the United States right now, I look to our blessings, even though they are hard to see sometimes, I know I have many, I have God in my life. I have a  wonderful family and awesome friends. I'm thankful for each and every one of them. I have a home to live in surrounded with photos of the people who I love the most and by the things I have collected through the years that holds all my memories of the life I have lived. 

I may not know what our future holds for us with all of the uncertainly, but I will always look to all of the blessings we have. 

Happy New Year 2020

Happy New Year Everyone!

We are getting ready to go home from our Christmas vacation tomorrow morning from here in California. Back to Washington, back to work, back to routine. I've decided not to have any New Years resolution this year. I just want God to lead the way. I have too much going on inside of me to really narrow it down.

Being with family this year was what was needed for all of us. 2019 was a trying year and now I just need to look forward. I pray it is a good year for all of us.

This is a short post, mainly I wanted to take the time to wish everyone who reads this a blessed new year.

Christmas Isn't Just A Day On The Calendar

Christmas isn't just a day on the calendar. It is a season that is meant for family and friends gathering together, celebrating life, supporting each other, loving each other through our laughter and our tears. It is believing in all that God has to offer. It is having faith that things will be alright even when things look their darkest.

For me, too many years have passed where Christmas has been lost. Not enough time to celebrate, not enough time to take off to be with family, Not enough time to let the season build up to the climax that is meant to be.

The plain and simple fact is, I'm hurting deep inside and a part of me feels broken. Too much is going on inside of me. I have confided in someone that I feel and care way to much. I feel so much it hurts and I don't know how to handle it, it's like I'm almost going numb inside as a way to protect myself. It is all very confusing. I also feel guilty that I'm having a difficult time handling it.

I am lost, which is why I'm finally taking time for myself. I'm taking a breather away from work and will try to take time to try to heal. I can't take care of anyone else until I care for what I need. The problem is I'm not sure exactly what I need. I'm thankful that my husband is understanding during this time and is supporting me.

I am also thankful for a beautiful soul who has heard my heart, has not judged me and who has been there as only a true friend can be. Who tells me every chance they get, that I have "got this day".

During a talk recently I was told that I am blessed. I looked at this person with a look I know showed my doubts. This person said that I may feel out of control and very hurt and devastated right now, but that also means I "feel" and "enjoy" and I take great pleasure in the things that mean the most in life as well. Whether it be with friends, family, or seeing the beauty around me in everyday living.

I've been reminded that I need to lean on faith and renew my belief in God that he will lead me to where I am meant to be.

Maybe my Christmas miracle will be that I find my way again and find the balance I need in my life that will allow me to live again with meaning in my life and the confidence I need for my future.

As I said in the first paragraph Christmas isn't just a day on the calendar. It is a season that is meant for family and friends gathering together, celebrating life, supporting each other, loving each other through our laughter and our tears. It is believing in all that God has to offer. It is having faith that things will be alright even when things look their darkest.

I will look to the light of God to lead me in faith.

Christmas is Coming

It is December 4th and Christmas is coming closer with each day that passes. I'm working and the anxiety I feel as I push to go to work each day is getting worse and worse.

The best things is, I have memories of taking mom shopping. She could barely get around, but she was stubborn and insisted in getting out. She bought a Christmas sweater with bells and large green and red fuzzy balls and sparkles to wear on Christmas. She saw a Mrs Santa dress she wanted me to wear on Christmas and of course I got it and I wore it on Christmas Day.

I'm truly trying to look at the blessings I have and I have a lot of them, but I'd be remiss to not acknowledge the heartache our family is going through.

My sister's Kathy ex mother-in-law died on Monday December 2nd. She died in a similar way my mother died. We were all family from the very beginning, the separation doesn't take the love we all have for each other.

My cousin's husband is very sick, he has brain cancer and sadly I understand he isn't expected to live. We were all close at one time and I feel for my (sister)cousin and my nieces for what they are going through. It isn't easy and my heart breaks for them.

My {brother) Cousin, ex wife has pancreatic stage 4 cancer. The heartache I feel for my niece and the whole family is real even though we don't see each other.

I just want to say, I love my family, my cousins and all of my nieces and nephews even though we don't see each other or talk. I've always prayed and wanted their lives to be good.

You can see why this Christmas is hard, it is hard for everyone. My husbands mother is getting up there with her own medical issues and my husbands brother is also sick.


This year at Christmas I'm going to try do do everything I can to be with my family. I am asking for FMLA, and if I can't get it, I'd be willing to quit my job to be with them. Emotionally, I'm a nervous wreck and it is very difficult to function on a daily basis. We To see family and to spend time with them. We need each other. I need them. Selling luxury jewelry isn't important when family needs each other. I can't give 100% to my customers when my mind and heart are somewhere else and I'm falling apart.

My family has a lot of blessings, I have a lot of blessings. We have our families and we are there for each other when we can be.

I am hopeful that as Christmas comes, we can make the magic of Christmas happen by being together and reigniting what Christmas is to all of us.

I have to go for now.

Count your blessings.

The Holidays and the Sorrow I Feel

It is almost Thanksgiving again. I haven't written a blog since last year at Thanksgiving. I'm saddened and heartbroken that I won't be able to spend the day with my mom again. We will never have the opportunity to have time together for the Holidays. This has been one of the most heartbreaking times I can remember. I don't even have the memories of Thanksgiving for last year, because I was forced to work. I couldn't get off and I tried. I'm sorry I just didn't call out sick and live with the consequences. My last blog covers how I feel about working on the holidays and what happened last year.

My mother has steadily declined in health and we almost lost her a few times before and after Christmas last year and after the first of the year we had a lot of close calls. I took off more and more work, but could't afford to quit, because of bills and having to live. Life has really sucked. Feeling guilty for not being there more for mom, and my brother even though I spend almost all of my free time and days off there trying to help and just be there didn't help the over all guilt.

Mom had been suffering with a failing heart, debilitating diabetes, loss of eye site and excruciating pain from neuropathy that left her bedridden and in and out of reality as her mind became lost in time, then back to reality, letting us know she was not ready to go. Mom fought hard to live, stubborn and opinionated. She loved her family with every fiber of her being and was heart broken as her poor body just gave out. Mom didn't want to give up, but towards the end there was no relief from the pain, she couldn't get around and she depended on everyone to help her with every need. Mom finally started begging for death, because she was suffering so much.

I called my sisters and brother and let family know, that I knew that mom's times was coming to an end. Family came from out of state to be with mom, to be with her and each other, supporting, loving and just being together knowing it would be the last time we'd all be together with mom.

All of us felt helpless, we had help from home nurses that came a few times a week and we finally got Hospice to help out. We couldn't get 24 hour care to help. Mom had been adamant about not going to a home. She wanted to be home in her own bed and not some uncaring care facility where she would be forgotten and would just be waiting to die. Mom considered a home a death sentence.

As a family that last weekend we didn't have a choice. Mom didn't know where she was at most of the time and had been in and out of delirium for weeks. We all decided to have mom put in a home so she could get the care she needed and to help with getting her pain under control. We didn't want mom to suffer in her final days like she had been.

Mom went into the home and four days later she was gone.

On Friday May 10th 2019 at 4:08 pm, our mother died. My brother Chuck and I were with her as she took her last breath and slipped away to soar with the Angels and to go home to God. I can't even express the grief and sadness we felt as we stood by her side with no choice but to watch her go. We called our sisters, Kathy and Linda, my brother Alex. We tried to console each other, but grief has no timeline.

I pushed myself to work after taking time off, but it didn't help. It doesn't help to keep pushing through. I'm working job I resent. working weekends and holidays isn't working for me. I need change in my life. Other things are going on in my life that I won't talk about here and I'm having a difficult time handling everything. I can't face the holidays this year and work. I need time off. I need time with family. No job is so important that you have to miss the most important things in life. I'll find a way to be with family this year no matter what it takes.

Don't put off being with family and loved ones, because one day they won't be here. Make your time count.

Thanksgiving an American Family Holiday- Missing what is Important

It is November again, my how time flies. I'm going to do some ranting in this blog, so beware.

I just got my work schedule and I am scheduled to work through Thanksgiving weekend. I did not volunteer to work. I'm upset that I don't get to spend at least Thanksgiving Day with my family. Why can't businesses close on a family holiday to let people be with the ones they love. Selling luxury items is not a necessity, but the company is only thinking about the bottom line and not the moral of their employees.

When I expressed my deep disappointment about having to work on Thanksgiving Day with my boss, he tried to tell the upside is getting overtime pay.

Well, family is more important than money. You can't ever get this time back.

He proceeded to tell me that I was not the only one who was upset about this and then he went on to tell me about his getting a three day weekend on Thanksgiving and how he is going to enjoy it. I truly am happy for him, but his timing in telling me this was inconsiderate and downright rude, especially since I had been tearful in expressing my own frustration and disappointment. It totally felt like he was putting salt in an open wound.

I'm really upset that I have to work, and people like me have to work, because the public can't take a day off from shopping and dealing with customer service issues for one day during a family holiday.

I want to thank the public and the companies (and I mean this sarcastically) for expecting us to to put aside our own families and not being able to be there for them because you feel the need to do your shopping on Thanksgiving Day for luxury items. Because of this, large companies like the one I work for does not want to miss out on the sales that this one day can generate.

You already have black Friday, now you have to include black Thanksgiving????? I'm also very upset at the companies that can't make a stand for their employees for this very important day in November, Thanksgiving Day. If you believe in family values, why take this time away? Why force mom's, dads, children and grandparents to have to work for fear of losing their jobs. This certainly doesn't boost moral.

Retail has a blackout period where their employees cannot even ask for time off from just before Thanksgiving until after the New Year. Every holiday during the year is like that as well. We cannot travel to be with our families, we are stuck working. Now not only has this whole block of time been taken from us, Thanksgiving Day has been stolen from us as well. We have to work on Thanksgiving Day, an Iconic American Family Holiday, because of the bottom line. When are the managers, company heads going to stand up for the employee and let them have this day back? This is a very sad world we live in.

For those people, who say, well you shouldn't work in that job, if you don't expect to work. I actually had a manager tell me, "This is what you signed up for when you got employed by the company, if family is more important to you, then maybe this is not a good fit for you." How cold and impersonal is that? Jobs are not easy to come by and like most people we have to pay our bills and we don't always have a choice in the jobs we have to take. Retailers are part of the problem of the breakdown of the family and family values, because of what they expect of their employees on important Family holidays. People need to celebrate time together on family holidays.

For those who say, "You can celebrate it before or after the holiday". Are you kidding me? The whole year leads up to this day as a family holiday. Why are we forced to have to celebrate, before or after the holiday??

Because of my work schedule, my whole family won't have a home cooked Thanksgiving meal on Thanksgiving Day, because they are elderly and disabled and can't cook without assistance. My work schedule doesn't only affect me, it affects my whole family on this special day.

This is the ripple effect of large companies decisions to stay open because of their bottom line. It's no wonder people become insensitive to what is important.

The attitudes of people need to change when it comes to what is important and what is expected. Everyone needs to respect the family and their time together, because that is where it all starts. You can't get back time lost. Why wait to realize this when it is too late, after your mom, or dad and grandparents have passed away. YOU CAN'T EVER GET THIS TIME BACK!!

If you can't look forward to family time during important holidays, what do you have?

Things That Matter

As I get older, and yes I'm old. I realize that the important things that matter the most in life is family and friends.

For the first time in my life I work a job that pays a decent wage and both my husband and I can finally save for retirement. We are a little late in life to be having to save for retirement, but we are finally trying to play catch up. We've always worked hard and we've never really had a break when it comes to making enough money. Just like most people.

The thing that is bothering me the most is, that even though I'm very thankful to have a job I'm missing life.

I work as a customer service representative in retail. Retail jobs are not family friendly. I was told when I started my job that after six months I'd be eligible to have two days off in a row. Of course ideally I'd love to have Saturday and Sunday off, but I know that would be very difficult to have. I am trying to get Sunday and Monday off. As it is I took the unsavory hours of second shift, mainly to have the morning with my husband as he also works the second shift. The only day we have together is Sunday. One day a week, which is filled with chores and we don't really get a chance to go anywhere together. I also get a random day off during the week.

My job is giving me grief about getting two days off in a row. They offered two days off during the week, but that defeats the whole purpose of spending time with my husband. It isn't like my husband has two days off during the week, and he can't call out sick to take off with me, any more than I can call out sick for him.

Why is it that job these days are not family friendly? Why do we have to trade what is important to some company's bottom line? Why do jobs penalize their employees for trying to do what is right for our families? How did this world get so mixed up?

Not being able to plan outings with family and friends is stressful and is very depressing. I don't even have time to write anymore. Anyone who knows me knows that writing is a huge part of my life as well. Both my husband and I feel like we are spread too thin. The breaking point is looming ahead like a thunderstorm in the distance. The dark clouds are building and moving towards us, and one day soon the deluge will hit hard and we'll have to make a change, or we'll have lost what is most important to us.

Working retail prevents us from taking time off at Christmas and Holidays together with aging parents and family. We know we only have so much more time before they are gone. Our jobs, don't allow time off if you don't have the time on the books, they scrutinize and frown when you take a sick day and question you if you are late.

I've looked for jobs that are more family friendly, but there aren't many out there, none that are hiring anyway.

People don't last long at the job I am working at this time, which makes it difficult to feel secure. Just as you get to know someone, they are gone, either by getting laid off, fired, or just outright quitting. There is at least a year learning curve for the job, before you actually start to get comfortable, then it changes, so in truth, you never feel comfortable. It is very difficult to feel valued when you know you aren't.

Both my husband and I feel like we have traded what is important for trying to work for our retirement. We are thankful for the opportunity to work, but we are not happy, because we are missing being able to spend time with each other, our family and friends.

We keep working because no one will pay our bills, or provide for us if we choose not to work, so we are working and trying to bide our time.

We ask ourselves if we'll ever get a break in life to have the chance to do what is most important to us.

I wonder will we ever have the courage to walk away and live life the way it is meant to be lived?

Value Each Other

Working with the public is an insane job. Don't get me wrong, it can be fun, fulfilling and exhilarating. It can also be frustrating, maddening, and irritating. There's a whole list of other words I could write down, but I think you get the point.

It amazes me that people in general expect other's to be almost perfect even though they themselves are no where near perfect.

If you make a mistake, or say something wrong unintentionally, or someone misinterprets what you say, because they weren't privy to the whole conversation, it seems they are there to point it out, and I must admit it feels like salt to an open wound. It shouldn't surprise me, but there is always someone there to jump on you like it's the end of the world. To nit pick what they perceive to be wrong about you.

Where were they when you did say and do the right thing?

I am a firm believer in learning from my mistakes as I think everyone should. We should all try to be better people because of our shortcomings, but, I also think that we can learn better when we focus on what is good and what we do right. I believe that focusing on the positive and our strengths truly make us better.

After all, we value things we love and believe in. Shouldn't we try to value each other?

Taking a Chance

Good morning everyone! I hope you are doing well. We woke up to snow this morning. I thinks it's the second snow storm we've had this winter.

Here is an update on my life. Back in October I took a leap of faith and quit my job of 4.5 years. I had applied at this company,(a call center)it will remain unnamed. They offered me a seasonal position. The money would have been great, but I didn't want to quit my full time job for a seasonal job. I had another interview with another company and that job would have been good, but the job that had offered me a seasonal position called me back and offered me a full time position with an offer of money that blew me away along with great benefits. I'd be stupid to turn it down. With a leap of faith I jumped at the chance to better myself and learn a job I had never done before. I was reassured that that the learning curve would take six months to a year to learn. The computer system was complex and the processes were hard to learn. I was asked in my interview if I had the patients with myself to learn, because they would teach me if I didn't get frustrated with myself if I didn't pick it up right away.

So, I gave my notice at my job of 4.5 years. I wanted to leave on a good note and gave notice as you should, as I wanted to be rehirable. It's important when you are applying for jobs, because employers ask if you are rehirable or not. I missed about a week of training in the new company. They said that they'd work with me though.

I'm not afraid of hard work, or facing challenges especially if it betters me as a person and gives me a chance to learn something new in my career since I have to work. (Most of us have to work)

No one talked about goals, or numbers. Just focus on learning the processes and everything else will fall into place they said. I did exactly as I was asked and came in early to start working before my shift trying to soak up everything I could. I asked questions over and over again. I listened to everyone around me trying to pick up how they handled situations and I learned.

Getting on the phones the first time was scary. I remember the first few days, I was unsure, because every phone call I needed help with. Every situation was different, I had customer's yelling, unreasonable people, then I had the customers that had great experiences and just straight forward requests. It was normal, all of the other new people were going through the same thing I was. They had coaches that helped the new people and explained things in detail. I was told that even people who had been there a long time still had to ask questions and learn new processes.

I took in a huge amount of service calls, took credit card information and received calls on complicated issues. In fact, I sit next to the supervisor and he hears my calls all day long. He told me I had a knack of getting phone calls that were complicated and complex. They take follow through and time to complete.

I learned that I have exceptional customer service skills, I follow through and make sure I get back to the customers with their issues.

Little did I know this was a problem. This follow through, took me off of the phones and yes the computer system keeps track of everything you do. This is not a problem. I work my ass off and don't goof off, so I have nothing to be ashamed of.

Out of the blue my co-worker from my old job contacts me, says she is going to be the manager and she wanted to know if I want to come back to be an assistant manager. it was a great offer, but at the new company the money is still way better. I need to think about the future and retirement. My husband and I are finally able to pay the bills and put money away for retirement. I am one of those people who doesn't have a retirement. I'm trying to catch up this late in life.

It was January when this offer came through. I had heard rumors in December about the people who bought out the company would be making changes and restructuring. In January I began seeing a trend of people leaving, hearing more rumors abut payroll and changes. People who had been hired were leaving, even full time people. It was scary. I was insecure, because I'm not even four months in, I'm still learning, but it's a struggle learning the processes and where to find the information needed to help customers. I love being there. I love the complexity of the situations and love working with customers, but I questioned if my job was safe.

I decided to be honest with my supervisor, probably something I should not have done. I've never had a break in life and I can be insecure and my confidence isn't there. I asked if they were going to lay off people. My supervisor was in the process of having one on ones with all the employees under him. He told me he'd have my meeting with him.

He told me, he had never seen anyone be a magnet to some of the most complicated calls he had ever seen. Like he said, he sits next to me and hears the calls, he has assisted me with the calls and has heard every time I have asked for help on calls.

He told me my sales numbers were great in December, but the month of January was really bad.

I have to be honest, no one had said numbers were important up to this point. I was told to learn the processes and the computer system. Also, considering they have me in the service Que, taking service calls and not sales calls, I'd say that assessment wasn't fair of them to hold against me. I feel they had set me up for failure. I can't control the calls I get.

On the bright side, he also told me that I had some of the best customer service skills he had ever seen. My follow through was great, he said if I told a customer I'd get back with them, they knew I would, because I did. This follow through takes me away from the phones though. He said he wanted to get me out of the service Que and into sales, because he thought I'd be great at the sales end, which would improve my numbers. He said sales calls were easier and funner as well. He asked me about the opportunity with my old job. I told him it was financially smarter for me to stay at this company. That I needed to make it work. He seemed to understand.

I met my friend at the old company after about a week and let her know that I had to stay at the new company, because it was a financially smart move for my husband and I's future. I had to give it all I had. She understood.

A week later, I was asked to come back in for a follow up meeting. I had a sense of doom. My supervisor asked me if I still had an opportunity with my old company. I said I turned it down and they had hired someone else. He said, that since my numbers were really bad and I still had to ask questions about the processes they needed to see an improvement. That they had to watch payroll and changes were being made. He said he didn't want there to be any surprises.

So, there you go, my job was on the line.

I can't help but think I was set up for failure in this job. I think the timing is impeccable that they are letting go all of the seasonal people they hired for the peak season and here they are telling me I had to improve, or my job was on the line even though I was told from the beginning from everyone that it takes 6 months to a year to even start to get comfortable with the computer system and the processes.

My supervisor said he'd set up more training for me. This actually meant that they were going to start documenting my failures.

I went home that night truly upset. I've worked hard my whole life, I've always had to work and the chance at a college education had always been out of reach. My schooling consists of on the job training and the university of hard knocks.

Do you know how difficult it is to stay strong and positive when it feels like everything is working against you?

I actually like the job I'm at now. Despite the black cloud that is hanging over my head at this job. The drive to Seattle everyday, really sucks, but the job itself is something I really enjoy.

I got called in again for another meeting, this time with my supervisor and his boss. I thought my job was gone. To make a longer story shorter, I was told I had to improve. They told me they felt I was struggling and they wanted to make a plan to help me, that they would do everything they could to get me where they thought I should be. That they had invested a lot of time and effort in my employment and if they didn't see improvements that they'd have to start thinking about exit strategies, if this job was not a fit for me. I was told I was still asking basic questions, that I should have already gotten down.

My immediate supervisor did stand up for me and say that I had some of the best customer service skills he had ever seen, and I had the bad luck of getting some of the most complex calls like a magnet. I expressed that I didn't feel that all of my questions were basic. A question I had asked a week before was thrust at me like it was bad. It had been a basic question.

They said, they'd meet with me weekly for a couple of weeks, because if I didn't improve, that we'd have to start looking at exit strategies. So, yes they are documenting my every move. I can't just quit though. I have to try.

I still think it very interesting that they are letting people go left and right. They had invested the same time and energy into them as well. The company is now a privately owned company and changes are happening because of the new owners. If they are going to let me, go, then so be it. Let me go, but don't try to make me feel like it is my fault. Especially when I had been told by everyone that the learning curve is normal. I had been told by the seasoned people there that I was by far not the worst.

I'm a fighter and I don't give up very easily. I cry a lot, I'm feeling very insecure and not very confident about the future of my job, but I still show up to work everyday and give it 100%. I still show up early and start work before my shift even starts to try to learn.

On average I get more good surveys from customers than bad. I even got a glowing review from a customer who when out of her way to email in to our leadership. I got an email from my supervisors boss telling me to keep up the superb work.

I know they are still documenting my failures, but at least no one can say I have a bad attitude, or have given up. I will keep going until they decide to let me go.

I have to live in faith, that what happens is meant to be.

I have no idea what my future holds for me. I pray everyday for a miracle.

A real experience in the life of a writer. What can I say.

Manchester UK

I wanted to offer my heartfelt condolences to the families who lost their loved ones in the senseless act of terrorism in Manchester.

I pray for full recoveries for all of those who were injured.

The emotional toll that this horrific act will be life changing and will never be fair to everyone who was there.

I pray for the evil in this world to be eradicated by our Lord and Savior.

Be A Light

I've been told my whole life that I have a light about me that draws people to me, that I don't have a malicious bone in my body. I can only hope this is true. I'm human and I make mistakes, but I can honestly say that I have never knowingly set out to hurt someone.

I do know that I care about things far too much in which makes me very sensitive to everything around me. Almost like an empath. I think this helps me with my writing and my character development. I've been told that I paint a very good pictures with words in my stories.

Today while talking to my friend Sarah, she told me that she too has been told she has a light about her that draws people. I can see her light a mile away and I believe her light is a lot brighter than mine.

Sarah told me that sometimes being a light not only draws positive people, it also draws the negative people. People who are hurting deep inside are drawn, because they need light in their lives. It isn't always a positive thing, because unfortunately sometimes these people are out to drag us down trying to extinguish the light we have. We need to learn to draw a line and to stop and stand up for ourselves and not allow people who try to drain the light you shine to suck you dry.

So, here I am expressing myself and putting my thoughts out there, so I can face this problem I have in allowing those negative people to drag me down.

I used to smile all the time. I was known for my smile. I can't remember the last time someone told me I had a great smile, because I have stopped.

Wouldn't you love to be known for your smiles, your positive demeanor and being a light in this dark world? I'm going to try to let my light shine a little brighter and also draw that line not allowing the negative in. I need to find a balance and I know I will as long as I have the Lord with me. I hope you try to do the same thing. A collective light from many will help us be better people and keep us from drifting into the dark.

Have a great day.

The Journey

Every person on this earth, past, present and future has and will live a journey, their journey.

From the beginning we each have a story to tell. We live it and breath it daily from the moment we are born, till the very moment we die. I don't want to get morbid, or anything, so I want to stay in the middle. The beginning is where it starts and the ending is where it ends. It is the journey in between that counts.

We can't choose our family, how we look, or how we came to be, but we can choose our friends and how we present ourselves Most importantly We have the freedom to make our choices in life.

I must admit that there are times I feel trapped in my life. I think this is normal. I must be clear though, I don't feel trapped in all aspects of my life. I have experienced the greatest joys in life because of the choices I've made. There are choices though that I have made, as I'm sure other's do, because it is for the betterment for you, your family and people you care about that may put you in the position to feel that life isn't as good as it could be. These are the experiences I try to learn from and grow from. We find out so, much about ourselves when we are faced with disappointment, regret, sadness and despair. The diversities in life make us stronger if we let it as long as we don't allow to drag us down.

If you are lucky enough to live and make a living doing what you love, that fulfills you. You should grasp it enjoy it as long as you can, because at some point it can end. I guess what I'm trying to say, is, never take the joys in life for granted, nor the people who love you and those that you love for granted either.

Have the courage to live your life to the fullest it can be, by respecting yourself and treating yourself the best way you can. Take time for yourself and for your family and the people you love. Don't allow others to put you down, or mistreat you. It is important to stand up for yourself personally and professionally.

Take a deep breath and enjoy the moments. Those moments are your life, they are your memories in which one day you'll look back on and realize that the journey you took brought you to where you are.

Be blessed and enjoy today.